The Truth Set Me Free

Today is get better/cleaning day for me. Girls at work until I pick her up at 730. I’m kinda glad to have the time to clean and chill. Although I still miss her. Pizza for dinner tonight. I got everything I could ever need and want here.

This is going to sound like im a little too full of myself but thats ok….the things some of my exs do make me wonder if they are really having successful relationships or not…my ex girlfriend use to post things like this is what i can do with my girl because she is 21 (letting her drink at dinner with them) well she wouldnt let me drink and ok i was younger then and maybe she has a strict policy about drinking when we were dating…i actually quit smoking cigs and weed and drinking to be with her. 

My other ex says how he is so happy in his relationships but he use to beg me to come back…he once asked (after i came out but not when i was dating anybody) if we could have sex sometime…he had a girl at the time…like uhhh dude no never. 

I dont know it kinda pisses me off when people rub things in my face, but i guess they did me wrong and i wouldnt come back and thats there way of getting me back. 

Somedays sharing bills and rent is just too much. I really could use a friend to text aimlessly.
I miss my sister. I miss my family. I miss everything.
Work isn’t helping…it’s actually breaking me down.
It’s so hard being alone so many nights a week and working the others. :/

And finally you let it fall, but not before trying everything in your power to keep it up.
You realize that sometimes things aren’t meant to work out for the best even if you want it to.
But you can’t be sorry for trying only for failing but even then that’s life…you move on.

I don’t think of my girlfriend as far away honestly. Yes I miss her but she is always here with me. She is the reason I can kill spiders now, part of the reason I quit smoking (her family especially her mom being a part too), she’s the reason I stand so strong today. When people say stupid things like “don’t you want something real” or anything like that I look at them and kinda smile and think I’m sorry real as in what? Because I see her when I can and those days are freaking amazing. Also the days that she’s not next to me are like those spring days with the warm sun shining on you with a light breeze. I could find 20 things wrong with today but why? If I have one reason to smile its breathing air right now, it’s how although I’m not made of money and can’t move out there I’m making the best of it here and seeing her when I can.
So yes while you can touch you significant other im getting to know mine more and more each day and loving her more and more each day. And if you don’t call that real I’m sorry for you.

Something about me having a wife…it was the first time she didn’t say husband…I went to my room and cried afterwords…it was the most amazing feeling ever. A feeling of full acceptance of who I am.

I don’t want any of my own. I have a hard enough time taking care of myself…and like my best friend says most of your friends will have kids you can take care of.

Dad asking his little lesbian for help. Thank god he doesn’t assume that because I don’t have guy parts that I’m not helpful like a guy would be.